A couple years back, I read through a great book that had a lot of application for my job as a change management advisor. Crucial Conversations is a book about how to better deal with high stakes conversations where opinions differ and emotions run high. I was also able to take a training course and still use the information in my job, as well as more generally in important conversations.
The authors of the book put out a regular newsletter/blog, and I thought the last one was particularly good. In summary:
She then taught me something I have never forgotten. “Before I spoke with him I asked myself, ‘In what way am I just like him?’ It didn’t take long before I thought of a couple of ways that I had behaved inappropriately when I thought I could get away with it. As soon as I accepted that I was kind of like him, I felt more forgiving of his weakness. I wasn’t going to put up with it, but at least I could see that he was a human not a villain—a human kind of like me.”
I was blown away by this idea. And I have found that, when I embrace it, I find an increased capacity to love the imperfect people in my life.
I read a thing by a guy recently. It was good. He was smart. If I was a touch sharper myself I might remember who he was or how he said it but it was something like 'all malice is rooted in suffering...' Seemed like the point had to do with trying to empathize with those who hurt us so we don't end up being hurtful people ourselves. Good in theory - tricky in practice. But worth a shot I reckon.
Posted by: Paulcumin | 09/10/2011 at 04:29 PM